If you’ve ever had to deal with a narcissist, you will recognize exactly what I’m talking about. I know first hand from dealing with my mother-in-law just what they put people through.
First of all, they are never wrong.Ever. And since they are never wrong, you will never get an apology from them. At the most, they’ll just start talking to you like you never had an argument in the first place.
Narcissists also have to make themselves feel important. They usually do this by either hyping up their degrees/jobs and usually, putting others down. They are also very good at projecting their flaws onto others as well. For instance, my mil will tell me that people don’t like me, that I’m fat and stupid. When the truth is, people don’t really like her because of her attitude, she’s overweight herself, and she has some of the poorest grammar and spelling skills I’ve ever seen.
They are also very adept to playing the victim. They never tell both sides of the story. They just talk about how badly someone treated them but fail to include what they did to get treated that way. And people who don’t know them very well often fall for it. The people who do know them well don’t say anything negative to them because they know they will get the same treatment.
Oh and narcissists tend to be very malicious and hateful. They will think of the most viscous things to say to you just to get your attention. They always have to have the last word. The best thing to do is let them have it. They will wear you down because they will just keep finding things to insult you about. I used to think that if I let my mil have the last word that she was “winning” the argument. But I realized that she was just dragging me down to her level and I didn’t want to be the kind of person she is.
I don’t really think there is any way to get along with a person like this. I have realized the best thing to do is have as little to do with my mil as possible. My mil said she wasn’t going to call my hubby right now, but he could call her. He told me that she would be waiting for a long time and that she’d call him before he’d call her. And that’s pretty much what will happen. She’ll need something from him and she’ll call him. I’m not going to tell him he can’t talk to her. But I refuse to. I am not going to be disrespected like that and I don’t have to put up with it. I’m done trying to get along with her because she’s a narcissist. Eh,I guess it shouldn’t upset me that much that she treats me the way she does. She has treated her own blood relatives the same way. I know for a fact most of her family just tolerates her but I’m sure they can’t wait for her to leave. She’s never going to actually make an effort to treat me decent and I know that.